Homesick

A lot happened in the last 2 months. And though all the words put together may not sufficiently describe what I want to say, I will make an honest attempt.

In the last 2 months I successfully completed a 30 hour journey to the other side of the world with my kids, one of whom qualifies to be an infant. “Successfully” is the key word here as I reached my destination sane and sound. Weeks of planning and packing did make the travel less difficult but I would still term the whole experience as best forgotten.

In the last 2 months I anticipated a few tears to flow but nothing prepared me for the overwhelming rush of emotions on seeing my loved ones at the airport. Over joyous on being with them again and sad to have missed their presence for such a long time, my heart swayed in either direction.

In the last 2 months I saw my children being spoilt silly by grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and for once I did not object.

In the last 2 months I slept in my room just as I used to 20 years back, next to Mom.

In the last 2 months I complained incessantly about the heat, traffic, rising prices, pollution and the roads. But when somebody asked me “would you move back if given a choice?” In a second, I replied.

In the last 2 months I met my school friends and met them again and those were the only friends I met.

In the last 2 months I visited the “Taj Mahal” and the “Akshardham” both of them unforgettable in their own way.

In the last 2 months I counted days everyday for my husband to join us, a reminder that eleven years of being together had not broken the magical connection.

Sadly, in the last 2 months I saw that my parents had grown older and weaker. Their understanding and acceptance of my life so far away did nothing to lessen my own guilt of not being there to take care of them.

In the last 2 months I went shopping every single day. For what?  Don’t ask. Women have their own way of figuring out what to buy once they head into a store.

In the last 2 months I indulged myself to restaurant and roadside food quite often but stuck to bottled water throughout, fully aware that I appeared to be a snob and in fact enjoying that status.

In the last 2 months I tried to squeeze in as much time as I could with my loved ones, scared to think about when next.

In the last 2 months I saw that my kids will never see India the way I do, it is after all my home, not theirs.